Mort: So, after I couldn't get a hold of anyone (phone rings), I just went with the whole, 'Eli is out maybe for the season,' story. (phone rings) Now I know I was monumentally wrong, (phone rings) but I was the first one with the story. (phone rings), so that's huge.
Older gentleman: Um, Mr. Mortensen, is that your phone ringing?
Mort: (phone rings) Oh yea, it's probably a source. No big deal, I prefer to work without sources. It makes things more interesting, because then I can say things like (phone rings), 'people are speculating that,' and 'it seems as though,' that's way more fun than (phone rings) 'so-and-so confirms.' That just brings too much closure to a story. (phone rings) I like to drag things out.
Younger gentle(wo?)man: Neato!
Mort: Oh, this one was Brett Favre.
Younger gentle(wo?)man: Are you going to call him back?
Mort: No, I'm going to just play the voicemail for people, that will continue the belief that I really don't do any actual reporting, just a lot of pretending and speculating.
Older gentleman: Well, didn't you do some reporting by calling him in the first place?
Mort: Are you kidding? Jay Glazer did all the reporting. I just knew Brett would call me. He's kind of an attention whore. Makes it easy for someone like me who doesn't really like working.
Younger gentle(wo?)man: Wow!
Mort: I know, pretty awes---
King: Hey Mort, hey Mort, look at this! Brett is calling me back, he's calling me back!
Mort: (Gives sly glance) Real cool Peter. (winks)
King: I know, I've been calling him everyday, twice a minute for the past two months, and he finally called back.
Mort: Well, did you answer Pete? What did he have to say?
King: Um, no. I was too nervous. I just let him leave a voicemail. I figured that way I wouldn't act goofy on the phone and embarrass myself, or ejaculate on my new pants. Plus, if he leaves me a voicemail, it makes it look like he wanted to talk to me, right?
Mort: Absolutely right, Peter. You learn quickly.
Younger gentle(wo?)man: Wow!
1 comments:
Drudge is reporting that Hillary's talkin possibly sharing a ticket with Obama, but whose on Top??
I'm not sure which visual is worse, Peter King doing Favre or Obama/Hilly, but if I'm Barack, I'm makin Hilly take the commander-in-chief like she didn't when slick willie was (supposed to be) the main potato.
Obama 08, Jay Dubs
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